porkfork.com

Hadn’t seen my parents for a while.
Reminds me of a day in my youth when the local boys had talked me into some fun & games they were enjoying which was to ride in the front of a shopping cart downhill. Of course I hopped in, and they let go.
Three feet off the ground, picking up speed, no way to control, and the only way to make it end is to rock it out of control in order to wreck it.
THAT is three hours with my parents.

My mother querying me on my computer qualifications:
“What kind of computer do you own?”
“A Dell? Well maybe you know something about computers. I was at the library trying to look something up on the computer, and I don’t know how to do that.”

Me: what were you trying to look up?
her: I don’t want to tell you, but it had something to do with being a donor.
me: what, like clothing or money?
her: it was something like donor dot o-r-g

My nephew walks into the room and says to her “are you still trying to get somebody to help you commit suicide by giving away your organs?”

It’s probably just one, but still the question needed to be asked, then asked in japanese, then again back into english, then back again, and again…

Translation Party

Go back to school and get your learnin’ on. The St Pete Times went with the headline that the decade was just a few days from ending.

The decade actually ends on December 31st 2010, not 12-31-2009.

Other things they fuck up on the daily basis would be Roman Numerals. Hellooooo St Pete Times, the letter “M” does not stand for million it equals 1,000. Please return to the second grade for some fresh updates on that process.

So if you need a proofreader or a fact checker I’ll help you out.

Dumbasses!

Ok, so I’m a few years late to try and fix this movie.

First off, well really the only problem is they had Natalie Portman wear a nine year old boys haircut. Now they already had a character that was nine years old, so I’m not sure why they chose to make her character look like him. Kind of creepy.

The second problem is Dustin Hoffman’s voice.

But I could overlook his voice, had they spruced her up a tiny bit.

Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium (2007)

Florida Sunshine

Originally uploaded by porkfork6

The list of things I don’t like, cannot be contained on the internet. But here is a list of things I liked in 2009.

1) with Windows 7, I like that Quicktime movies play in the Windows Media Player. Instead of Waiting for Mac’s (apple whatever) to open, look for updates, tell me to download itunes, even though it wants to download itunes 32bit, when I would need itunes 64 bit. Either way fuck itunes, fuck Mac, fuck Apple whatever. (oh yeah, if you want me to switch to a Mac, don’t insult me in the process. and if you got guilted into buying a Mac because they called you a loser, well then, YOU are a loser.)

2) Flaming Lips- Embryonic. So luving this juicy sonic swerve.

3) Lightning Bolt- Earthly Delights. The first time you fell in love, was the same day you wrecked your bike on a jump, broke into a house, and punched your best friend in the face with a circular saw. You were only young and beautiful once…till now.

4)Saturday Asylum

5)MSTRKRFT

Swine Flu Shot

Originally uploaded by porkfork6

There should be an 11th Commandment. It should be like “thou shall not eat human flesh”

Then the other religions kind of take a step back and go, “what the fuck are you all into???”

Then us believers are like winking at each other, and giving a knowing nod.

Nothing like a slam dunk commandment to abide by.

Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office Charge Report

Küssnachter Samichlaus

Or as NASA says “back the fuck up off me.”

NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory Blog » Blog Archive » 2012 - A Scientific Reality Check